Un-adult

One epiphany I’ve had as a parent is that the best smiles come from infants.

And maybe I think this because Ren’s smile is world class.

But I think it’s also because their motive to smile is pure joy, innocent as snow.

And when we express our selves unadulterated by politics or gain..

I feel it moves us deeper.

Ritual

Before I start writing in the studio, I burn an incense stick each time.

I take out a sandal wood incense, break it in two, light one half and place it in a holder.

And as the scent rises, I take a moment to feel gratitude that I get to do this again.

Hopefully, the muse will visit me today.

Rumination

Whatever your fuck up is today, just do better tomorrow.

End of rumination.

Enough

Somedays I still can’t believe my son is real.

Yet here he is, squiggling, giggling and babbling with joy.

And as I stare into his eyes and he smiles back, my chest fills with a flood of wholeness I can’t put into words.

And perhaps - I wonder - if this is what ‘enough’ feels like.

Weird

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s outwardly perfect and thought - oh I really like you because you’re perfect.

I think the people I like are all people who seem to have their shit together, but then suddenly make me realise..

Oh you’re also a little weird too.

And since normal is an illusion, I also know everyone is secretly a bit weird in some way.

It’s just a matter of finding out who’s embracing it.

Shoshin

When Jigoro Kano - the founder of Judo - passed away, he had left an unusual request.

He asked his students to bury his body wearing a beginner’s white belt.

Shoshin is the Zen philosophy of maintaining a beginner’s mind regardless of what we’ve already achieved.

To forever learn, forever be curious, and feel the magic in every moment like the first time.

And with another new year ahead of us, I find there is no better time to fasten my white belt again.

Exclamation!

I’ve had a difficult relationship with exclamation marks.

Whilst a lack of them made me come across dry and unenthusiastic..

The moment I employed them, I felt like whatever I had to say felt cheap.

But when people recognise you speak from your heart anyway, it doesn’t matter whether you add them or not.

And I feel the same way about adding unnecessary flourishes to my tracks.

Boom

Oooooh!

Ahhhhh..

Owwww.

It’s quite nice that people come together to watch things explode in the air for a bit.

Which said like that, feels like a weird thing for humans to do..

But actually, a well presented firework is a masterclass in capturing attention.

The suspense, sudden bursts of colour, mixture of patterns, all happening live, holding our collective gaze.

And I’m all for things that bring people together.

Yoyo

Yes, you only live once.

But using YOLO as an excuse to make short term decisions you’re guaranteed to regret later makes little sense.

So a better excuse is..

You’re only young once.

In which case, you smash that ninth jäger bomb you spring chicken.

But…

You’re only as good as the excuses you let yourself be stopped by.

Sunshine

Our emotions have a filter.

And how we experience reality depends on how it functions.

What was that look from that person?

Are they judging your outfit?

Or maybe, they’re wondering where they can buy it from.

When we choose the most negative interpretation possible, everything always feels grey and overcast.

But the most radiant people I know strive for positive interpretations where possible, promoting good vibes like sunshine.

We have a choice.

Content

Don’t share something because you think that’s what you have to do.

Share something because you feel joy in it.

Me vs Us

“Hi I’ve made a new song. I made it for myself, absolutely no one else, especially not for you because I couldn’t give a fuck what you think about me.

But please listen to it, then like, comment and share it with your friends - thanks! p.s. I don’t care what they think of me either because I make music just for me”.

Vs.

“Hi I’ve made a new song. I made it for people like us, who feel like us. I know how you feel, and I know this track will help you feel better.

And if you know someone else who feels the same way because they’re one of us, send it their way because it’ll probably help them feel better too. Thanks”.

Understand

At every new stage of my life, I continue to appreciate new palettes of ideas that never made sense before.

Minimalism, slam poetry, systems thinking and even midcentury furniture.

And of course, everything makes more sense as we understand more about ourselves and the universe at large.

Similarly, so much of music that I didn’t like before turns out to be music that I simply didn’t understand.

And today, if I don’t like something, I remind myself I probably don’t understand it.. yet.

Gratitude

I’ve just cleared out my wardrobe full of colourful shirts, worn-out jeans, and logo-laden tops.

And although I’ve had an incredible time wearing them, they are choices of a distinct phase of my life. It’s time to say good bye.

These pieces remind me of people who’ve come and gone in my life - many who I’ve had a great times with, learned from and made a difference to who I am today.

The truth is, people come and go from our lives no matter who we are, or what we do.

And as I fold these clothes for the last time, I realize it’s not about mourning an end, but expressing gratitude for the imprints they’ve left on me.

Recovery

There was a period of my life where I’d run out of steam half way through a sentence.

I’d start speaking and immediately falter because in that moment, I believed I had nothing much of value to say.

And of course this issue wasn’t about the value of my contributions, but a matter of low self-esteem.

And to rebuild this self-esteem, it’s taken a great deal of self examination, honesty and self love.

But when you come through the other side, nothing you talk about really changes.

But how you feel about yourself talking improves dramatically.

And that’s what recovery felt like for me.

Respect

Looking back, I grappled with a problem.

I wanted everyone to like me.

And what I’ve learned in thirty years is, not only is this impossible to achieve, but it also ironically makes you pretty hard to like.

An approach I now prefer is to simply carry myself the way the people I respect like.

At the end of the day, this is way more realistic than pleasing everyone.

And having switched to this mindset for many years now, I can confidently say I respect myself way more for it too.

Gratitude

I’ve just cleared out my wardrobe full of colourful shirts, worn-out jeans, and logo-laden tops.

And although I’ve had an incredible time wearing them, they are choices of a distinct phase of my life. It’s time to say good bye.

These pieces remind me of people who’ve come and gone in my life - many who I’ve had a great times with, learned from and made a difference to who I am today.

The truth is, people come and go from our lives no matter who we are, or what we do.

And as I fold these clothes for the last time, I realize it’s not about mourning an end, but expressing gratitude for the imprints they’ve left on me.

Home

Home is the smell of our washing, the way our pillow feels, the family we live with.

Those things we just know, because we’ve soaked up its essence over time.

And home after travelling feels nice.

Composers and story tellers use this device all the time. We repeat ideas enough for it to become familiar and comforting..

Only to switch things up and take us on a journey, before returning to the main theme.

A compelling exposition is creating a home worth returning to.

And I wish a safe home to all my readers.

Judgement

Avoiding judgment is tough.

It’s easy to spot a flaw in others and jump conclusions that label them as bad people.

But when we readily judge others for their flaws, the moment we do anything less than perfect ourselves, it sets us up for vicious self judgement and loathing.

The truth is, no one is perfect all the time.

Going easy on others is going easy on yourself.